And of His signs is that He created for you, from yourselves, mates, that you may find tranquillity in them;
and He placed between you affection and mercy.
“Between you”: Allah placed affection and mercy in the space you share. Your words fill that space every day.
Even silence speaks. A sigh, a closed door, a look away: the other one hears all of it.
The Prophet ﷺ told 'Â'isha (may Allah be pleased with her): “I know when you are pleased with me, and when angry.”
“When you are pleased, you say: No, by the Lord of Muhammad. When you are angry: No, by the Lord of Ibrâhîm.”
She answered: “Yes. But by Allah, I only leave out your name.”
He noticed a single word. And even when angry, she only left out his name, nothing more.
And tell My servants to say that which is best.
Indeed, Satan sows discord between them.
Not just good words: the best ones. And the verse says why: Shaytân uses the bad ones to divide.
“You never talk to me.” The other one hears an injustice, and starts to defend himself.
“I would love us to talk at dinner, without the TV.” Now the other one knows what to do.
A common advice: say what you need, not what the other one fails to do.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “O 'Â'isha, Allah is gentle and loves gentleness in all matters.”
And: “Gentleness is in nothing without making it beautiful, nor taken from anything without spoiling it.”
He also said: “A good word is a charity.” That includes the words you say at home.
“We don't talk any more.” Many couples say it, while speaking every day.
What does the Qur'an ask of the words that pass between two spouses?
The words between you belong to the affection and mercy Allah placed there.
Tonight, turn one reproach into a request. Begin with “I would love…”, and say it gently.